Are you dating someone but not sure if you actually want to marry them? Here are a few red flags and things you should consider before getting engaged, let alone getting married. These are a few tips that can help you decide if they are really the one. And to find out if you really want to spend the rest of your life together.
12 Things To Consider Before You Decide To Get Married
1. What is your Gut telling you?
You should ALWAYS listen and trust your gut. I cannot repeat this enough. Your gut knows way more than you do. It can pick things up that you would not without it. For example, you can feel eyes on you without having to see someone staring at you. It is the same concept as your gut. Even if you do not fully understand it, listen to it and trust it. You may not know why at the beginning but you will thank yourself later.
2. Listen to your Family & Close Friends
Your family and close friends know you and they can see things that you may not. Listen to their concerns and actively ask them for their opinion and concerns about your partner. Having an outside look in can be tremendously helpful in deciding whether this is the person for you or not. You should respect their opinion and have an open mind to what they have to say.
3. Does your partner have toxic tendencies?
This is such an important thing to look for because they might start off not that bad but as time goes on it will increase and by then it’s too late and could escalate into a verbally or physically abusive relationship. So make sure you are being realistic when thinking about who they will become and small red flags. At the end of the day, it is your choice to decide what you are comfortable with and what are deal-breakers for you. So proceed with caution.
4. Why do you want to marry them? Besides Love.
Love is an amazing and sacred thing but it is not the only factor in choosing a spouse.
Do you like their family?
Do you feel safe around them/ with them?
Do your life goals complement each other?
Do you want to raise kids the same way?
Do they make you want to be a better person?
Are they good with finances?
Do you have the same religious beliefs?
Etc…
There are so many logistics that come into play when you merge your two lives together as well as your families together. Love is important but it is not the only important thing to consider. In many cultures and places around the world, love doesn’t even play a part in a marriage. So make sure you and your partner are compatible in every way or that you are willing to make it work besides some hiccups.
5. Do you or them have anger issues?
Remember you will be spending the rest of your life together so make sure you know if you can handle their anger issues and don’t be naive with this topic because this could be a huge deal in your marriage.
6. How do you argue with each other?
I always tell couples you have to argue at least once before you seal the deal. I mean like actually argue to see how they react in certain situations and that you can see if you are willing to deal with how they argue for the rest of your life because if you are married you are going to argue it’s inevitable. It is nearly impossible not to.
7. Do you like their friends?
You are a combination of the top 5 closest people to you. So if you do not like their friends there is a good chance you may not like them when the butterflies and the rose-covered glasses go away.
8. Do you personally think you are ready to get married?
Not only should you consider qualities in your partner, but yourself as well. You don’t want to ruin an amazing relationship because you were not ready. So heres a few questions to help you find out if you are ready:
Can you swallow your pride for a greater outcome?
Do you know what you want in a partner?
Do you know what you need in a partner?
Are you petty?
Are you emotionally stable?
Are you emotionally mature?
Are you being honest with yourself and your partner?
Etc…
9. How are your financials? Are you good with money? Are They?
Money can be one of the biggest causes of fights and divorces so it is so important that you are open and honest with your money habits and that you are both doing your best at being more money friendly.
10. Do your life goals/ priorities line up with each other?
It’s your life and you can do literally anything you want to do and you don’t want to regret throwing your plans away. Blaming your partner for not being able to live up to your potential is toxic and depressing for both parties. Make sure you know what you want and if it’s them, then go for it! If not, maybe you should take a second look.
11. Do you feel pressured to Marry them?
Love is an amazing thing and should never be rushed. Take your time and don’t just get married because people are telling you that you need to. Even if it’s your partner. If you feel like the time is right then go for it! If not, take your time.
12. Do you really know them well enough?
I am a huge true crime binger and if there is anything I have learned from it is, do you really know your spouse well enough? A lot of spouses of the murderers say they had no idea that they were doing things like this or even capable of it. Now that may be an extreme example of this question but you should know every single detail of your spouse before you get engaged or you will be so shocked after you get married. No one goes into a marriage wanting a divorce, which is why it is so important to make sure you do know them!
Here are 100 Questions you should ask before even considering getting engaged. To help you out!
I hope these Questions help you decide if they are really the one you should Marry.
At the end of the day, it is your choice on who you marry and when. So I hope these questions help you decide if they really are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. These questions definitely helped me decide if I wanted to break up with my ex-boyfriends and if I wanted to marry my husband and I couldn’t be happier with my final decision.
If there is anything I missed please let me know!
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